


Ghosting Your Heart

by TheCatfish



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Haunting, Multi, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Body, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death, post episode 26
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 03:29:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16568777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCatfish/pseuds/TheCatfish
Summary: He’s there. Mollymauk Tealeaf. But not, at the same time. While the Molly that Caleb had known been bright and hard to miss, this Molly was almost… invisible. He seemed solid enough, but it felt as if… if you weren’t concentrating you’d forget he was there. Caleb’s eyes widened in shock. The tiefling lips curled into a smirk.“Mr. Caleb."-In which Molly is a ghost and, rather problematically, has decided to make himself at home in Caleb's soul. Literally.





	Ghosting Your Heart

The world felt like it was spinning. Caleb’s watery eyes blurred at his surroundings, and there was an awful ringing in his ears that refused to go away. He almost felt like he could still hear Lorenzo’s irritating drawl, like he was waiting for him to turn around and kill him. It took Caleb around five minutes to come to terms with the fact that he was alive. His eyes, starting to feel more focused, shifted to look at his friends. Beauregard sat slumped over in the snow, covered in blood and cuts. She looks like she’s been crying. Nott doesn’t look any better, her eyes were wide, frightful and focused on Molly. And Molly…

 

Caleb Widogast is alive. Mollymauk Tealeaf is not. Part of him almost wants to laugh at the bitter, cruel irony of it. But it’s not funny. It’s just the way of the world.  _ Monsters never get what they deserve. In reality, the monsters always win. _

 

It takes him a while but eventually he shuffles forward toward Molly’s lifeless body, and places his fingertips against the side of his neck. He’s dead. Caleb knows this. And yet he can still feel the warmth of his skin, just no breath, no pulse. No life. He feels a shock in his spine as he removes his fingers from Mollymauk’s skin, and then it starts to feel like a burning sensation. Caleb wrenches his hand back. He slumps back, defeated, letting out an exhausted sigh.

 

They wait, for something. Nothing passes between them for a while. It’s Keg who speaks up behind him, her voice shaky from fear, “So… what happens now?”

 

Caleb hears the thud of Beauregard slamming her against a tree. 

 

* * *

 

 

Things spiralled from there. They buried Mollymauk in the woods, leaving his coat as a marker. They knew it’d get stolen, but it was only right that it stayed with him. They found a firbolg named Nila nearby, she spoke in a soft and gentle voice, giving condolences and offering her help.

 

It all felt like a blur. Caleb wasn’t sure any of it even happened, frankly. The last two days have felt like a nightmare, and he’s been expecting to wake up to find Fjord cooking bacon over the campfire, Jester closeby chattering to Beau, Mollymauk dragging Yasha from her bed. But the logical part of his brain, the part that he’s come to rely on, knows that that would be too convenient. They were all going to die. That was just the fundamental truth of Caleb’s life. He can’t be allowed to have back what he destroyed.

 

He sits on a log, Nott’s sleeping form curled up against him. They were supposed to be keeping watch but Nott seemed too exhausted for that and ended up dozing off next to him. They were camped out in a clearing in the woods, and Caleb was debating running away again. He knew he could never bring himself to leave Nott behind. Or Beau. Or Jester for that matter. But he knows he should, and the temptation is hard to resist. 

 

As time goes on, Caleb starts feeling colder. And colder. And  _ colder. _ He rubs at his arms irritably, trying to get warmer.  _ It’s just the weather, it’s just the weather. It’s just the fucking weather. Please let it just be the weather.  _ Caleb has always been one to lie to himself, and he knows that too was a lie. Because, he can feel him. He can feel the presence sitting next to him, on the side that Nott isn’t curled up against, there’s something there. He thinks, if he doesn’t acknowledge it, it will go away.   
  
But eventually he starts to properly acknowledge the chill on his skin, and the chill that arises next to him. He starts muttering an incantation under his breath just in case before hesitantly turning his neck toward the source of the chill. When he saw him, every inch of Caleb Widogast’s body felt as if it was frozen and stiff. 

 

He’s there. Mollymauk Tealeaf. But not, at the same time. While the Molly that Caleb had known been bright and hard to miss, this Molly was almost… invisible. He seemed solid enough, but it felt as if… if you weren’t concentrating you’d forget he was there. Caleb’s eyes widened in shock. The tiefling lips curled into a smirk.

 

“Mr. Caleb,” His voice was faint and soft, like it wasn’t there at all, and certainly didn’t come from Molly’s lips but rather… Caleb’s own head. He jumped back and stumbled backwards, sending him and Nott tumbling off the log and into the dirt.

 

Nott rubbed at her eyes drowsily as she pulled herself up from the dirt. “Caleb…? Are you okay?” She said in a sleepy low voice.

 

Caleb’s eyes flicked back to where Molly had been, noticing he was gone completely. 

 

“...Yes. I apologise I thought I…” Caleb stops, slumping his head back into the mud. “It’s nothing.”

 

“Did you… have a bad dream, maybe?”

 

Caleb shook his head. “I wasn’t asleep, remember?” He said with a somewhat choked chuckle.

 

“Oh, right. Were you…?” She stops, and frowns. ‘ _ Thinking about Molly?’  _ is what she doesn’t say. It’s not wrong.

 

“Yes,” Caleb said quietly. She approached him and helped him sit up before throwing her arms around him sleepily. 

  
“It’s going to be okay,” She said, obviously lying.

 

“I know,” Caleb lied and hugged his small friend back, because she’s probably in more need of consoling than he is. “Beauregard and Keg will be taking over shortly. We should wake them up, ja?”

 

Nott nodded against Caleb’s chest. “Yes,” She said, in a tearful tone of voice. Caleb pressed his lips to her forehead. 

 

“Come on, let’s go.”

 

It turns out that Beauregard hadn’t been sleeping at all. As she sat up on her sleeping roll, restless and obviously emotionally exhausted. 

 

“Oh,” Is all she said as Nott and Caleb approached her. “Is it our turn?”

 

Caleb nodded. Beau worried at her lip and sat up. “I will wake up Keg, ja?” She nodded.

 

_ Am I going mad? _

 

_ Wouldn’t be the first time. _

 

 

* * *

  
  


When Caleb drifted to sleep he found himself somewhere else entirely. A dim red room, in a fine leather chair on a pristine and spotless red velvet carpet. His insides ached with anxiety. He looked down at his hands and saw they were smoother, cleaner, than they had been for a long while. He wasn’t himself. Or at least he wasn’t the version of himself that he’d gone to sleep as.  _ I’m seventeen again. Before the flames.  _

 

Caleb grit his teeth and looked about the room. He heard noises from behind a red curtain opposite him, and there was another seat in front of him. If Caleb had to guess, he’d figure that the intended owner of this seat would be the one behind the curtain. There were painted portraits decorating the walls, indicating things Caleb found… disturbing to say the least. To his right, there was a painting of a goblin in prison rags, a noose around her throat, her body swinging limply.  _ Nott. If I hadn’t met her. _ To his left there was a painting detailing blue cloth stained in blood and what resembled a human woman, beaten bloody to the point of being unrecognisable. Caleb vaguely recognises it as Beauregard. The context is unclear to him, however, causing him to bit his lip in irritation _.  _ Directly opposite him was a painting of a green half orc, an eye on his forehead, and a twisted grin on his lips. There was a shining sword in his hand, with a gem in the middle.  _ Fjord. But not really. _

 

“Who are you?” Caleb called out. He was alarmed at how high his voice sounded. And how much stronger his accent was. “What is it you want, exactly?”

 

The movement behind the curtain stopped, before it opened, revealing a purple tiefling dressed in a long black coat and a fancy white dress shirt.

 

Caleb’s eyes widened. “Mollymauk.”

 

“Caleb,” Molly greeted him with a smile.

 

“This is a dream,” Caleb’s fists tighten. “You are not Mollymauk Tealeaf. Mollymauk is dead.”

 

“Well…” Molly let out a sigh before slumping down on the chair opposite him. “You’re right about most of that. Honestly, I don’t really understand it much myself. But I am the real Molly. As far as I know anyway,” He shrugs lazily.

 

“...What do you mean?”

 

“Like I said, I’m no expert on this kind of thing. That’s more your expertise, right?” He smiled coyly as that. “But I’ve been following you for some time. I tried communicating with you a few times but you never responded. You’ll have to make it up to me.”

 

Caleb’s head pounds in confusion. But, he lets out a sigh of relief. He feels… exhausted. More exhausted than when he fell asleep. “I’m… It’s good to see you, Molly.”

 

Molly smiles gently, and sadly, “Yes, it’s good to see you, too. Though, I wish it were on better circumstances.”

 

Caleb nods grimly, before pulling himself up and walking around the surrounding room to examine the paintings closer.. “I don’t suppose you know what these paintings mean?” 

 

“Haven’t the slightest!”

 

“Mm, ja, I suppose that is to be expected.”

 

“The decor of this room is tasteless, though. I’ll say that much.”

 

“I did not realise you were an expert.”

 

Molly smiles coyly. “Of course I am.”

 

Caleb brings his hand up to prod at the painting. It doesn’t feel like paint he finds, and it’s definitely not dry. He puts his finger tips to his nose and smells it. It smells… and feels… overpoweringly sweet and heavy. Caleb makes a face.  _ It’s sap. _

 

“What’s up?” Molly says, suddenly standing beside him. Caleb hadn’t heard him move.

“The paintings are made from sap,” Caleb mutters. 

 

“Hm. Interesting. And pretty fucking impressive, I have to say.”

 

“Yes… pretty fucking impressive, indeed.”

 

“You know you can’t solve the mystery of this place in a single night, right?” Molly says casually, seemingly back in his chair. Caleb once again, did not hear him move.

 

Caleb’s brow furrows. “And why not?”

 

“Because you have to wake up. And you have to find the Gravekeeper.”

 

“Who?”

 

“You’ll know him when you find him. Probably anyway. Who knows? But that’s really all I know,” Molly walks beside Caleb normally, rather than… teleporting or… whatever he was doing before. 

 

“You are not being very cooperative.”

 

“No, ‘spose I’m not. Oh well,” He places his hands on Caleb’s shoulder and nuzzles his forehead to the wizard’s, causing Caleb to seize up. “You’ll keep an eye out for me, yeah? Caleb?”

 

Caleb takes a second to answer. “Yes, I will.”

 

“Good. If all goes well this arrangement might not even be permanent.”

 

_ I’m still not convinced you’re real. _

 

“Perhaps,” Caleb shrugs.

 

“Give my best to Beau and Nott. You’ll be waking up in three seconds so,” Molly pulls back and without warning brings his lips to Caleb’s forehead, and plants a kiss there. “For luck,” He says, with a grin.

 

And then the room comes down around him, and he feels Mollymauk Tealeaf fade out of his arms.

 

It’s just a pure blinding light for a while, but eventually Caleb starts to hear a voice, faint at first, but getting louder.

 

“Caleb.  _ Caleb.  _ For fuck’s sakes, wake up, you bastard!” And he feels a light pain in his chest before he feels his eyes begin to open to Beauregard’s scowling face. “Finally. Get up, we’re going to Shady Creek.”

 

Caleb blinks at her. “Huh…”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing, nothing. Give me a few moments to gather my things, ja?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just… let me know when you’re done,” She huffs irritably and walks out of his tent.

 

Caleb sits up in his tent and he can feel the chill behind him and he sees the tiefling in his peripheral vision.

 

“I told you I’d be here,” Caleb can hear the hissing in the back of his skull.

 

“That you did,” He muttered under his breath, and began to roll up his bedroll in preparation for the road to Shady Creek, and when they left, he alone seemed to notice Molly’s presence behind them. The others saw nothing. The others heard nothing.

 

Caleb acknowledges he has a responsibility to the tiefling now. And this is his burden to bear, alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! It really helps motivate me to update. BUT i'm going to try and get this to 20, 000 words by the end of the month because nanowrimo!! So, wish me luck with that.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed ^u^


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